When Multiple Powers of Attorney Must Make Decisions Together: How Can They Reach Consensus?

Aging in harmony

Did you know that April 16 is National Healthcare Decisions Day (NHDD)? The purpose is to inspire, educate, and empower the public and medical services providers to engage in advance care planning, to document medical wishes and appoint a healthcare proxy (Power of Attorney for the Person) to ensure that personal preferences are honored in case of a crisis. When choosing their Power(s) of Attorney (POAs), parents often name two or more of their adult children to jointly make decisions … Read more

When Siblings Who Never Got Along Compete to Care for Aging Parents: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I help families resolve conflicts about their aging parents’ current and future housing, care, finances, and estate. Sometimes the Elder is part of the conversation, but often it’s just the adult children who are fighting about what should happen to their aging loved ones. These battles are particularly fierce when the siblings didn’t get along since childhood. And when their lifelong competition turns into a tug-of-war about the care of mom or dad, they may … Read more

Family Conflicts About Aging Parents’ Needed Level of Care: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I help families resolve conflicts about their aging parents’ current and future housing, care, finances, and estate. An issue that often leads to tensions is how much care an Elder needs to be safe and whether they should receive it at home or in a Senior Community. Sometimes all adult children and grandchildren agree about what would be best for their parents or grandparents, but the older generation resists accepting the offered help. But even … Read more

When Family Conflicts Escalate via E-Mail or Text: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I mostly help families resolve conflicts about their aging parents’ current and future housing, care, finances, and estate. Although usually all parties have their parents’ or grandparents’ best interest at heart, they disagree about what that should look like. Since everyone feels strongly about the issues at hand, emotions run high and misunderstandings can easily lead to conflicts. When I ask potential clients how they have tried to communicate with their family members, they often … Read more

When Sibling Roles Change during their Middle Age: Can Mediation Restore Family Peace??

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I mostly help families resolve conflicts about their aging parents’ current and future housing, care, finances, and estate. However, recently an adult daughter contacted me with a different problem: The relationship between her and her oldest sister had become so strained that she was afraid that the upcoming Holiday family gatherings would be unbearable for all generations. During initial individual confidential consultations with her and her two sisters, I learned that 3 issues had caused … Read more

When Siblings Fight about ONE or ALL of them Managing Parents’ Finances: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I help families resolve conflicts about their aging parents’ current and future housing, care, and estate. These conflicts frequently focus on financial issues, especially when the parents no longer can manage their own money. Fortunately, most of my aging clients have an estate plan that assigns someone as their Power of Attorney for the Estate in case they are temporarily or permanently unable to make and implement financial decisions. Most often, parents name one or … Read more

When Aging Parents Drift Apart: How Can Mediation Help Avoid “Silver Divorce”?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I usually get contacted by adult children who are in conflict with their aging parents and/or siblings about the future or the parents’ housing, care, finances and estate plans. However, recently a son approached me with a different request: He and his siblings were concerned about increasing tensions between their parents in their nineties and were wondering if I could help them get along better. I was intrigued by the challenge, because I know that … Read more

When Stay-At-Home Child Fights with Siblings about Parents’ Care: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I frequently get contacted by adult children who are fighting with family members about their aging parents’ care. Most recently some of them reached out to me, because they had a special reason to be in conflict with their sibling:  While the one who asked me for help was trying to manage their parent’s finances in their best interest, their stay-at-home sibling had other plans for the funds and family home. Here are a couple … Read more

When Stepchild Competes with Second Spouse to Take Care of Parent: How Can Mediation Help?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I frequently get contacted by adult children who are fighting with family members about their aging parents’ care. But recently some second spouses reached out to me for help, because their partner’s children from a prior marriage wanted to be in charge of their mom’s or dad’s care. The special dynamic of blended families can make the decision who should care for an aging loved one especially complicated. Here are a couple of examples from … Read more

When Aging Parents Won’t Participate in Elder Care Mediation: How Can Families Resolve Conflicts?

Aging in harmony

As an Elder Care Mediator, I frequently get contacted by adult children whose family does not see eye to eye about the future of their aging parents’ housing, care, or finances. Since the parents are at the center of the conflict, I always ask to speak with them first, before I can decide how I may be able to help. More often than not, mom or dad is willing to meet with me for an initial confidential consultation – in … Read more